Chivalry Rebooted – The case for modern KNIGHTS among us

I had the pleasure and responsibility of being a part of PATH’s Strategic Planning meetings this past Friday and Saturday along with Board Members and PATH leaders.  It was an intense, thought-provoking, challenging, and long set of presentations, discussions, and decision-making activities. 

After this experience, I tried to relax by watching some football and began preparing for a discussion class in another facet of my life. In this class, I was tasked with leading a discussion on CHIVALRY.  The idea of chivalry being dead, or being outdated was challenged by the idea of people to having a need for virtues and social responsibility. As part of my preparation I read the following excerpts from Scott Farrell’s 2002 article entitled, “What is chivalry?”

“The term may sound familiar, but … gosh, it has been a long time since that social studies class in high school or the college English literature course. It has something to do with suits of armor and opening the door for a lady, right? Don’t be embarrassed, “chivalry” is a word not often heard today, and a lot of people really don’t know what it means. Let’s define the term before we go any further. Here’s what Webster’s Dictionary has to offer:

Chivalry:

·         Gallantry, courtesy and honor.

·         The noble qualities a knight was supposed to have, such as courage and a readiness to help the weak.

·         The demonstration of any of these qualities.

From the Ten Commandments of the Bible, to The Eightfold Path of Zen, to All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten, people throughout history have searched for a way to define and quantify admirable behavior. The code of chivalry is, at its heart, simply a handbook for good conduct. But chivalry was not a mandate from the powerful to the downtrodden, nor a directive from the chosen unto the masses. It was a set of limitations which the strong and mighty placed upon themselves with the realization that setting a good example sends a message which is far more powerful than any words on paper.

Today, we’re not too different from those knights in the Middle Ages — we have a great deal of wealth and resources and freedom at our disposal, and we can use (or misuse) them in nearly any way we like.

Perhaps that’s why people are finding the concept of chivalry so relevant to modern life. Perhaps, like those knights in shining armor hundreds of years ago, we want to experience the satisfaction of knowing that we have championed the right causes and embraced the right principles, not because we were told to do so, but simply because we have chosen to follow that path.

In short, that’s what chivalry is — a choice. The choice to do the right things, for the right reasons, at the right times.”

Since this study came after spending 2 full days in meetings with the PATH Board of Directors made up of foster parents and community representatives, I suddenly felt a new appreciation for the modern “knights” of our society… those who give so much of their time and life to do the “right things, for the right reasons” – foster parents and volunteer board members of PATH!

The virtues of knights included courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.  Knights fought dragons, rescued those in distress, championed justice, and went on quests.  Let me give some examples of why I think these things are easily seen in PATH foster parents and Board Members...

Courage – foster parents open their hearts and homes to the downtrodden, the needy, and the distressed of our society.  They work with these youth and their families, with the teams trying to help, with schools, doctors, therapists and others, but they do it FROM THEIR HOMES!  They open their humble abodes, their families and their lives to scrutiny, vulnerability and pressures in order to do the “right thing” for their communities and the vulnerable members of their society.

Honor – They give their word and perform amazing service.  There are many years of experience in life that are shared in order to improve the lives of others.  There were Board Members at these meetings who have served in this critical volunteer leadership of PATH since 1994!  That is honorable dedication!

 

          Championing Justice – Foster parents, PATH personnel and Board leaders all want what is best for children and their families.  They want to right the wrongs, they want to help others develop skills to succeed in life, and they want justice for those wronged by society or experiences.
 

         Dragon Fighting – I was taught many years ago that monks of many religious backgrounds created the imagery of dragons to represent the yin and yang of mankind – the good and evil – the scaly body of a lizard with the wings of an angel.  Foster Parents make great dragon fighters!  They slay the demons of trauma experiences, they work to lessen the bad behaviors and emotions and enhance the positive qualities of those for whom they have care.

     Rescuing the distressed – Need I say more? They nurture and foster, bathe, clothe, feed and provide shelter.  They provide a safe environment to the vulnerable.  They mentor and encourage, praise small steps, reward success, and consistently and unconditionally love those who may at times push them away and make them feel unsafe.

     Accept Quests – There may not be better definitions of PATH foster parents and Board Members than that of those on a quest to make a strong, positive difference in the lives of others. I can recall many foster parents reviewing referrals on children with serious behavioral and emotional resumes who then looked me or their worker in the eye and said, “Yes, we can help.” 

 

So, it is clear these modern knights approach life as today’s “Good Samaritans” who welcome into their homes, not just the prodigal sons and daughters of our society, but all the challenges, difficulties and experiences these quests bring with them.  To them, I again say, THANK YOU!